


Self Control

by ivartrash



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Virginity, NSFW, Reader-Insert, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 11:00:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11735676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivartrash/pseuds/ivartrash
Summary: After the incidents with Sigurd and Margrethe, Ivar had learned to control himself in every aspect of his life - including avoiding sleeping with women - until now. You and Ivar used to be close friends, but after a few months apart he sees you again and loses that self control.





	Self Control

You sat on the steps outside your home in the centre of Kattegat watching the evening’s events play out from afar. There had been a celebration in anticipation that most of the men would be leaving for England soon and Ivar and some of his men were sitting around a pit of fire, drinking mead and every so often a burst of laughter would come from their direction. You gripped your own horn in freezing cold hands, trying to steal glances at Ivar when you could.

You watched how the fire lit up on side of his face, illuminating his smile, and the other half remained in the dark. Through your years of friendship with Ivar you always knew a part of him was always hidden. Since he killed Sigurd, Ivar had completely changed into someone you no longer recognised - he had full control of his emotions and never acted impulsively anymore.

When you were younger, you were the one who pulled Ivar’s cart around when his brothers had got tired of it and he wanted to play with the other children. Growing up you had become terrified of him, like all the other kids in Kattegat, seeing his anger and irrational behaviour increase with time. Yet you had stayed one of his closest friends, mainly because he had nobody else and you never ceased to show him kindness when he needed it most. In addition to this, something about Ivar’s spontaneity and impulsivity intrigued you. After Sigurd died, you and Ivar drifted and with Ragnar gone, you knew Ivar was planning something big and you accepted that staying away was best for both of you.

You began to wonder if Ivar would ever find a girl to marry and settle down, but just as this thought crossed your mind Ivar caught your eye from across the crowd of people celebrating. He did a double take and smirked at you, lifting his horn and mouthing ‘skål’. You imitated the gesture, your heart beat picking up dramatically as Ivar kept his eyes on you while he downed his mead. Something about his expression made you stir in your seat. As soon as Ivar looked away, you disappeared into your home.

——–

Ivar looked back to his brothers with the searing image of your face in his mind, and questioned how many months it had been since he had spoken to you.

Either way, after seeing you he was flooded with a feeling of nostalgia, remembering your laugh and how happy you used to make him. And just like before, the sight of your beautiful face made something stir inside him that he had shut away since the incident with Margrethe a few years ago. Ivar was suddenly overwhelmed with lust that he had tried to ignore for so long by not interacting with women. This, as well as the longing that he felt when he saw your face, pulled Ivar to get up and hobble towards your house on his crutches against his better judgement.

—-

When a knock came at the front door, you panicked. Ivar was the only one who had seen you at the celebrations, as you always stay out of the way.

‘Y/N?’ You heard his voice call from behind the wooden door. Something about hearing your name on his tongue after all this time was euphoric.

You took a deep breath and opened the door. He was standing tall, towering over you and casting a shadow into the entrance of your home from the light of the campfire behind him. You could just about make out his familiar smirk, and his tongue poked out to wet his lower lip and he dragged his gaze down and back up your body.

'Ivar!’ You said, trying to pretend his glare hadn’t completely soaked you between your legs. 'Is there something I can do for you? Would you like to come in?’ You asked instinctively.

'Yes to both,’ Ivar replied and you moved sideways to let him enter. He took his time making himself comfortable, perched on the edge of your wooden dining table and you rubbed your sweaty hands together, trying to figure out why he had come tonight. The silence put you on edge.

'Please, sit down. I don’t want to make my presence uncomfortable for you.’ You swore Ivar could have seen how heavily your heart was beating as you sat down a few metres from him. When you finally looked up you met his eyes - his head was tilted slightly and he gazed at you intently, trying to read your expression. After a moment, he dropped his head, let out a sigh and spoke.

'You know what, I can’t keep up appearances with you - we’ve known each other too long for that. Can you just come here?’ He asked, and suddenly he looked more vulnerable than you had ever seen him. You hesitated, deciding to push him to see how genuine this version of Ivar was, until he spoke the word you had been waiting for.

‘Please?’ He looked at you with pleading eyes. The atmosphere in your small home changed immediately and you walked to him. Ivar took your hand, kissed your palm and lifted it to hold it against his chest.

'What is it, Ivar?’ You asked. He pulled you closer to his body, and you stepped in between his legs as his other hand moved to stroke your cheek with his thumb.

'I’m sorry, this must seem strange. I wanted to apologise for not being good to you. I feel I have not done right by you for many months.’ He took a pause, just long enough for you to realise you had stopped breathing. 'Seeing you outside just now… you have grown so beautiful, how have I not seen it before? And I remembered how much I missed you, and suddenly I knew I must apologise to you. So here I am.’

'Here you are.’ You replied, transfixed with how his gaze moved from your eyes to your lips, and hovered there as he spoke. 'Ivar, you are the Prince of Kattegat, you have sailed to England and defeated kings’ armies - you have had a thousand other priorities, you do not need to apologise to anyone, let alone a village girl like me.’ You said, covering the hand on your face with your own.

The look in Ivar’s eyes was something you could not decipher. 'And yet, my little village girl,’ he smirked, 'your forgiveness is of great importance to me and you must accept my apology.’

'Of course I do, Ivar.’ There was a pause and Ivar sighed in relief. 'But what now? You are leaving in the next few days-’

Suddenly Ivar moved forwards and his lips were on yours. Both his hands moved to your waist and pulled you closer as your mouth moved in response to his. His tongue was sweet from the mead as it caressed yours, but the sudden realisation of what was happening made you pull away.

'Wait - you.. I..’ you stuttered and could see the look of panic in Ivar’s eyes as he feared your rejection. Had he reciprocated your feelings all this time? Had he missed you as much as you’d missed him? You smiled at him and grabbed the collar of his tunic, pulling him back down to your lips.

It was this action that changed everything. Ivar’s pace became hungry as your mouths moved in sync and you gripped at each other’s bodies. Your hands went to his shirt and began pulling it up until you had to separate to get it over his head. In a sharp motion his hand tore at the lacings in the front of your dress, and your chest was bared to him.

His arms gripped firmly around your waist and he lifted you off the ground so that he could move his mouth over your chest. 'Oh (Y/N)… how is it that I do not have an ounce of self control when I am with you?’ Ivar sighed, deep and staggered breaths releasing from his mouth across your breasts.

'Wait… Ivar’ you moaned, trying to control your breathing. 'To the bed-’

Ivar laughed, setting you back down and kissing your neck. 'You think I can stop to move for even a second when you’re in front of me like this?’ He asked.

'If you want to do this properly, then yes you can.’ You replied, moving out of his grasp and covering up your chest with the torn fabric. Just out of his reach, you grinned at him and began turning around.

'Oh no you don’t. Get back here woman.’ You heard Ivar let out a low growl from behind you as you kept walking, taunting him as you entered the bedroom and dropped your dress completely.

'I’ll be in here. Let me know when you want to join me.’ You heard an even louder groan of anger from him behind you. Eventually Ivar reached the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, dropping his crutches on the floor. You sat up on your knees behind him and you couldn’t help but run your fingertips across the broad muscles of his back and the swirling tattoos there. Ivar had twice as many tattoos over his skin since the last time you saw him without a shirt on, and you realised how much he had grown into a man during your time apart.

’(Y/N)… I should tell you, I am not experienced at this.’ Ivar swallowed as he found the words difficult to say. The statement took you by surprise - Ivar the Boneless, one of the most famous Viking warriors had no experience with women? You had heard of the incident with Margrethe, as Sigurd had told almost all of the girls in Kattegat, but had dismissed it as gossip.

'I have been told that I cannot please a woman. For so long I have denied myself of women, out of… fear.’ Ivar choked out the word, and suddenly you saw him in a brighter light and came to understand why had had become so controlled.

'And I do not want to be the only one who enjoys this… I want to be able to take care of you.’ He said, lifting his hand to caress your forearm.

'Look at me, Ivar,’ you said, moving to sit beside him and turning his face to yours. 'I have never… done this… but I know I will enjoy it. And somehow I always knew I wanted it to be you, you know, the first time.’ You said, suddenly aware of how red your cheeks must be.

Ivar pulled you into his lap and began placing soft kisses across your collar bones. 'My (Y/N)… I know it is selfish, but I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.’

As you straddled Ivar on the edge of the bed, you lowered yourself and felt the hardness of him against you. You let out a moan and Ivar’s stroked his knuckles up your inner thigh and began softly rubbing against your heat. You shut your eyes and gripped his broad shoulders. When he felt the wetness there, you could hear his smile in his words - 'Is this for me, love?’ He whispered in your ear.

'All for you, Ivar,’ you replied, and his middle finger was stroking up and down your core. It was nothing like you’d ever felt before, and was a thousand times better than what the whispers of the other girls in town had suggested. Knowing it was Ivar’s hand and nobody else’s… you thought you could explode.

'Tell me if I…’ Ivar muttered, but his fingers working their magic against your sex made your body start to quiver. His other hand moved around your waist and steadied your body against his.

'Please, Ivar…’ you said, needing more of him.

'What is it my love? Is this okay?’ He asked hesitantly.

'So good, Ivar…’ you moaned against his neck. You could feel your pleasure building up as Ivar’s strong hand on your back began stroking gently up and down your spine. 'I need you, I need more of you,’ you said and pulled back, reaching down to Ivar’s lap. You felt his hardness underneath his breeches, and he let out a loud gasp.

'I’m not going to last long if you keep doing that,’ he said as you rubbed him. Ivar suddenly let out a deep groan and mumbled, ‘(Y/N), I can’t… please say you’re ready for me now.’

He took your moan in response as a good sign and with one strong arm wrapped behind you, he twisted your bodies to lie on the bed. Ivar pulled away from you for just a moment to pull his breeches the rest of the way off, before moving his mouth back down to your body.

'So beautiful,’ Ivar murmured as his lips ran across your cheeks and down your neck. He was propped up beside you and tauntingly moved your knees apart, so he could position himself between your legs.

Your skin was slick with sweat already and Ivar looked at you, planting kisses on your skin to prepare you to take his size. ‘Beautiful… and mine,’ he whispered. You felt him position himself and you reached down to help guide him.

As Ivar pushed himself into you, you gasped out and clutched at his shoulders, digging your fingernails into him. He groaned in pleasure as he filled you, and waited a few moments to make sure you could adjust to him. He had heard his brothers talking about how painful it is for girls their first time, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt you but he struggled to keep himself from moving.

'Are you alright?’ He asked, but you were biting back the tears from the pain of him. You nodded and he pulled halfway out, before slamming back into you - the feeling of finally being inside you rid him of any self control. ‘Fuck, (Y/N).’

Ivar could feel your nails grip even harder into his shoulder blades. You didn’t want to say anything, hoping the pain would ease, but Ivar could tell by your staggered breaths that your pain wasn’t easing. ‘What can I do? Tell me what I should do, (Y/N).’ He kissed you over and over again as his body hovered over yours.

'Can I just try something?’ Ivar looked at you hesitatingly, before nodding. You remembered something you had heard girls talk about before, that made it easier.

In one quick motion you rolled sideways and flipped over so that Ivar was beneath you. The look in his eyes became brighter blue and full of lust. 'Sit up,’ you commanded and hooked a finger round the cord of his necklace, pulling Ivar’s chest up to yours so that you were both sitting up as you straddled him. 'Yes m'lady,’ Ivar smirked, running his hands down the curve of your waist to your ass. The fact that you were now dominating the situation and the hope that you could still enjoy this gave Ivar renewed lust for you.

You reached in between your bodies to realign yourselves and guide him back into you, and the feeling of lowering yourself onto Ivar was ecstasy as you feel your walls open for him. Both of you let out gasps of pleasure, this position being more comfortable.

Ivar couldn’t stop smiling, burying his face into your hair and leaving kisses across your collar bones. You took a deep breath and began to grind against him. With each movement you made Ivar’s grip around you became stronger, and he moved one hand down the side of your hip and gripped under your thigh, so that he could angle himself better.

'My (Y/N)…’ he moaned, your sounds combined growing louder as you moved together. 'So long, so long I’ve wanted you.’

His words were like nothing you’d ever been told and only pushed you closer to the edge. 'Your hand,’ you muttered, the pleasure making it difficult to string words together. 'Do what you did before, Ivar.’

‘As you wish,’ he replied, his smirk almost making you come right then. Ivar instantly moved the hand from your thigh in between your bodies and found that spot again, earning a low groan from you as your head tipped back instinctively. This opened your neck to him and Ivar took the opportunity to start marking you, nipping at the skin on your throat with his teeth enough to make a love bite. His tongue slid out and he licked the spot for good measure, before pulling away to admire the masterpiece he had left on you.

Your bodies were grinding quickly at this point and you chest was bouncing with the movements, and it felt like fire was burning between your bodies, slick with sweat, as Ivar clutched you to him.

'Ivar - I’m almost…’ you let out between moans. You realised at this point you must be drawing blood from his shoulder blades with how tightly you gripped him.

'Ahh.. I know, my love.’ He replied and you could feel his hot breath on your shoulder. He leaned in to kiss you, both your mouths swollen from the pressure.

'Look at me,’ he said in a deep and husky voice. He let out an unholy growl as you made eye contact. The hand on your back moved to the back of your neck and he gripped it to keep your gaze on him. You could see the struggle in his eyes - having denied himself of this for so long and finally being able to enjoy such pleasures with someone he trusts. The friction between your bodies at this point was almost unbearable, but his middle finger working at your core told you that you were nearly there.

'I love you, (Y/N),’ Ivar said. The shock of his words came at the same time as the wave of your orgasm, and you could not stop the sounds of release that came from you. Somewhere in the haze you heard Ivar’s sounds of pleasure as he released inside of you. Did it feel this good for him, too?

In the following moments, you kissed Ivar’s lips before lifting yourself off him and falling onto the bed beside him, realising the muscles in your legs no longer worked. Looking back up at Ivar as you gasped for air, you could see the vulnerability in his eyes as he lay back down and looked over to you.

'Of course I love you, fool,’ you said, finally answering his pleading looks and reaching a hand to his chest as you moved to lie on him.

You may have fallen asleep, but you couldn’t tell how long for. You were woken by a hand brushing down the valley of your chest, exploring the curves of your body. Your eyes blinked open to find Ivar, propped up beside you on one arm and smiling to himself.

'I still cannot believe this,’ he said, unable to stop himself from grinning like a child. You ran your fingers through his hair.

'Did you enjoy it?’ He asked, looking up at you. He inspected your face, a streak of red across your cheeks already signalling the answer he hoped for.

You just laughed at him and said, 'did you not hear the sounds I was making?’ The smirk on Ivar’s face showed how proud of himself he was and he pulled you into his chest again.

After a moment you spoke. 'You’re leaving soon, for many weeks, Ivar. What then?’ He was running a hand up and down your arm in a soothing gesture. You had never felt such love and comfort before.

'Well, that mark on your neck should show other men that you are spoken for for at least a few days.’ He replied and you smiled, hand going up to the sore spot on your neck. 'Then when I return, I will make you my wife. I will put a baby inside you, and one day I will make you my queen.’

You looked up at Ivar in shock. 'But for now,’ he continued, his face leaning closer to yours, 'we will have to settle for practising that a lot more before I go.’

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Ivar fic and I'd love to know if you liked it / what you think! It was inspired by an interview with Alex Hoegh Andersen at SDCC17 where he talked about how the events of 4x20 changed the character of Ivar and affect his decisions in future, because he lost control. Anyway Ivar has as many sides to him as a dodecahedron so I wanted to write a softer side and this fic just fell out of me. I hope you enjoyed it!!
> 
> Anna x (hvitty on tumblr)


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